The Weaning
By Carol Lynn Pearson
There is cloth now
Between you
And my breast -
Cloth
And a little pain.
This is the
Beginning.
I take your face
In my hands
And guide your gaze
Away, out there -
To the fruit trees,
To the stars.
My arms,
Though empty,
Fold comfort
To a mother-heart
That yearns for nursing,
Yet knows that weaning
Is the bigger part.
Do you ever feel like you're in a moment and you just want to soak it up completely, but you can't seem to? Like you want to soak up the smell, the sight, the memory of that moment because it feels important to you? ... I nursed Taya for what I told her and myself would be the last time tonight. Knowing I'll no longer nurse her makes me a little sad, and is not easy for me. She is so active these days, that nursing (down to once a day for the last few weeks) has been my main chance for peacefulness - touching - closeness - with Taya. I suppose I could be subconsciously sad because I know it means she is growing older or maybe I draw enjoyment from her needing me, those would be the obvious answers, but I don't actually feel those sentiments (especially the needing me one). I think I'll just simply miss the closeness of our nursing moments. But she is ready, completely ready, and that is the main reason I am weaning her. (That and Paul and I may be leaving her on an overnighter soon - Hallelujah!).
If I had done a post about my sentiments with breastfeeding earlier on, I would have shared this poem:
NEW CHILD
By Carol Lynn Pearson
I savor
This mutual feast:
You
At my breast,
Desperately
Drinking life -
And me
watching,
Touching,
Sipping eagerly
On your sweet
Evidence
Of immortality.
(While I was pregnant, I was especially nervous about nursing, breastfeeding, whatever you prefer to call it, because I had heard so many horror stories about it & because I had encountered adamant breastfeeding mamas who seemed to look down on those not breastfeeding - which turned me off on the topic. Then I read a book or two about it, and after feeling educated: and finding out that the hardest part of breastfeeding is in the first 3 weeks, and that people especially get the hang of it after 3 months, and also that as long as the baby is latching on correctly, there should not be a lot of pain, and if there is, you should look into another problem such as Thrush or Mastitis (have had both of those), ... after finding all of this out, I was determined to make it past 3 months and see if things weren't going just fine. Well, we made it and I am so glad I stuck with it. I don't want to hold that standard for everyone else, though I do think it is good to be open minded and educated on those things I mentioned and seek any lactation specialist help that may be beneficial. Besides, breastfeeding is so cheap and can be so easy in the end!!)
(Hope this post didn't make anyone too uncomfortable - if it did, maybe you're not a woman, and I'd rather you not read this particular post anyway, how's that for honesty? :) )
