Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Am I a good enough friend?

It seems like Paul and I have witnessed some hard troubles - health troubles, and different things in the last year with some that we love dearly. It has made us reflect many times, possibly still not enough though. I have had many thoughts, but one thought I had tonight as I read my friend's blog about her family's health trials in the last year made me wonder if I would have the same kind of support that she described if my family and I had to go through such a hard trial ourselves. This is not about questioning the hearts and efforts of my friends, but about questioning if I have been a good enough friend myself? If I had a life changing event happen tomorrow, would I have been a good enough friend that people couldn't help but want to check on my family and me regularly? I've thought of this a few times as I've tried to help those I love in the last year. It seems like everyone close to me that has suffered hard things in the last year has had an incredible support system, partly because they had always been an incredible support to others themselves. I am definitely not saying that we just make friends so that we will have a resevoir of them to help us in times of need, but it is an interesting question to consider.

I guess I'll just keep trying to be a good friend and family member and resolve to give deeper support and not just be an acquaintance or mere contact. I want to be there for people.

As I read my friend's blog about her family's year of trials, and she described the endless support they received, I thought it said something very positive about her and her family.

Now to analyze it a tiny bit further, I am also not saying that we only serve those who have been good to us. Not at all, I just wonder if we're not more inclined to be a little bit more mindful of those who have been there for us. So I just hope I am there for those around me.

I could probably go on and on about a lot of other reflections we've had recently, but it's almost exhausting. I do know one thing: Miracles happen and I have learned to pray for them more than ever before. I love my friends and family so much and will still offer prayers when I know of nothing else to offer.

This is kind of an odd post and I'm not asking for comments about me. Only the topic. Anyway, I may regret posting this, but hopefully my thoughts have made some sense tonight.

Soon I will post on a surprise that some of you haven't seen yet! But I am waiting for a few more pictures to be emailed to me!



Kathryn said...

I gotta say, I was surprised what a solid support network we had last year. We certainly didn't deserve all the help and support we received! And when we were in the thick of it, it was hard to let people how much their we REALLY appreciated their help. I still feel like I don't do enough for others...but I'm realizing that even little things matter. When a whole lot of people do little tiny things, it really adds up.
I'm glad you found my post thought provoking, because I thought I'd lose everybody two paragraphs into it! :)

Breanne said...

I forgot to mention that Jana took this great artistic picture of Taya and me a couple of weeks ago - I will be showing off the other pictures soon too!
Thanks Jana!

Shannon said...

Nice picture Jana! So cute. Can't wait to see the little Tay-Tay. You are always good at helping out. Whenever I'm sick or Henry is sick you always ask if you can do something for me like run some errands for me or help in any way. You are very thoughtful.
Sometimes I feel pretty wrapped up in my own life. Maybe I need to open my eyes more and force myself over to someone else's house to help because we always say, "Oh we don't need anything. We are just fine, thanks." But we really did need something at the time.

Sara said...

Love the picture! On the topic - i think you are a wonderful, thoughtful friend. Hey, you brought us dinner after Ben was born - and as I remember, we weren't even home to accept it. hee hee.

I think that sometimes it's hard to be a good friend, especially when someone is going through something SO devastating and you don't know how to be there for them. Or when someone else has "taken advantage" of your friendship in the past and you're experiencing a bit of burn-out. In any case, it's no excuse and your post has definitely hit a note with me. Thanks.

Denise said...

Speaking of being a good friend... we really need to get together, if we leave it to the boys we may never see eachother again.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Breanne for posting this. It's good to step back and take a moment to reflect. It is easy to get wrapped up into oneself or to let someone else help out when someone is in need, even a friend. My biggest fall back is that I feel like I don't know WHAT to do to help, and sometimes it paralizes me into doing nothing. But thankfully as of recently I am learning through my calling at church that there are amazing people that help and they do it without telling anyone and because of their examples I am learning in what ways I can be a better friend and person. Its exciting!

Breanne said...

Thanks for the feedback you guys! I'm glad my seriousness wasn't too serious!

I love my friends! :)