Dyllan? Two? What?!

My little pip squeak, also known as Dyllan, turns 2 this week!!  I'm shocked since time has flown, as most moms always are ... what?! - this can't be!!!  How could she possibly be having a birthday, let alone turning two?!!!!  ; )  

Anyway, I love that little gleam in her eye in that picture above - sums her up pretty well in my eyes.  Others don't realize because she doesn't show this to you unless she knows you pretty well, but she is a little fire cracker with lots of personality.  Paul & I constantly find ourselves saying to each other ... '....She's crazy ... She's crazy!' - in an utmost loving way of course - actually, it really is with love - because her craziness makes us smile all the time.  Both she & Taya crack us up, but in fairly different ways I think.  We're still pinpointing those ways.  But Dyllan will be so chill (I wasn't huge on using that word until she came along - now it just rolls off the tongue because it fits her so) or seemingly even disinterested one minute, or when visitors or strangers are around, and then the next minute, she'll be squealing and laughing and/or screaming for what she wants.  I can't quite seem to describe it. 

We found this cute book at the library recently called 10 Things I know About You; can't seem to find it online right now.  But it made me want to write 10 or more things I know about my girls every year...

I'll give it a whirl.

10 Things I know About You Dyllan ...

I know you like to say 'Boo!!' and smile whenever you're playing on your own in a room & I walk in on you. 

It never gets old for me.  Will you do me a favor and say 'boo!' with a smile when I walk into your room in 14 years?  ; )

I know you also like to play peek-a-boo with anyone sitting behind us at church, or simply just flirt away.  It's funny, because it doesn't match your 'I'm disinterested in you' vibe that you give off in a funny way most other times.  Needless to say, fellow church friends love your games & flirty entertainment.
(Don't worry.  I'm not asking you to do this one in 14 years.  Unless it's a practical joke.  And not in church.)

I know you love 'doggies!!' and want to pet one whenever and wherever you see one.  ...Despite a couple of harmless, but potentially fear-inducing nips in the past from your dog-cousin, Tiki.  You simply are giddy about 'doggies!'.  

I know you are extremely sneaky.  And award winning in some other realm when it comes to climbing skills.  And that you are extremely lucky to be pretty unscathed by this lethal combination.  (We must just be really good parents then huh?)  ; )

I know you adore dress-up lately and like to put on dress-up dresses (especially mini-mouse), despite them being 3x your size, every day - usually multiple displays a day.  You must not be your sister's sister. (wait, is that how that goes? ;)  ) ... She just barely realized the glories of dress-up in the last year and a half.

I know you are a bottomless pit & that somehow that still shocks me multiple times a day, every day.  ... What?!  How can she be hungry again?!! ...  You especially love bananas, rice, celery, cheese, pancakes, apples, and lots more,  and you're diggin' our green smoothies lately.

I also know you're starting to show a picky side lately.  And I am at a loss.  We can't seem to trick you into an unwanted bite at any cost.  And you.will.let.us.know.that. 

Speaking of, I know that once your mind is made up, it's set.  I don't need to say stubborn though!  You just have a set mind.  I have no idea where you get that (both Mom & Dad, and Taya can be guilty of this).

I know you might as well have a pantry for a playroom.  We are far overdue for putting a temporary lock on that pantry door (spilled beans, rice, cereal... helping yourself to your own snacks, the list goes on...).

I know you love to dance!  Your variation of moves includes big arms, bounces every which way, summersaults, and more.

I know you say 'Again, again!!' when you want something (such as for me to pick you up while we're dancing) - even on the first time - every time.

I know you adore your sister, and are copying her more than ever these days.  You have the highest & lowest of emotions with her; intense screams erupting with no notice over an unshared toy (or anything suddenly decided 'desirable'), sandwiched by laughs & giggles and more laughs & giggles.  I love watching you two have fun together.  You fill a place for each other that no one else can.

I know you run to your dad with all wild force, slamming into him every time he gets home (and sometimes you do this to me too), saying 'Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!!!'

I know you love to get 'pummeled'/rough housed by your daddy, or tickled by me, and are non-stop kicks & giggles every time.  Endlessly.

I know you understand the meaning of a good cuddle and are earning major browny points (just kidding, kind of) for the art of leaning your head on my shoulder every time I put you down to sleep (your dad is a little jealous b/c you only give him the head lean/cuddle about 30% of the time that he puts you down ; )  ).  We enjoy good couch cuddles & rocking chair cuddles too.  May you always have this cuddly side.  Lucky for us, your sister is pretty cuddly too now.

I know you are learning the beauty of story time with each other more and more.  And I am so glad.

.............................

Okay, so that was definitely more than ten, and I know I have thought of so many more in the past, but this sums it up for now.  We love her so much, and love the dynamic she brings to our family.  I can't wait for my parents to get to know her better when they get home from their mission in France this Fall.  Taya adores her too, and is such a good big sister to her.  

We celebrated her birthday tonight with my brother's family.  She loved her balloons, new bouncy Rody toy, books, pink toy car, soft stuffed dog, the frosting on her cupcake, and her birthday hat.  

And we love her.

Did I mention that?

.... 

And now for an onslaught of pictures ... to make up of the lack of posts maybe?  ... or really b/c I'm just simply indecisive.  : )

Curls & bows don't hold a candle to bed head piggy tails...

Or fan blown morning hair .... And who says supermodels can't have jam & cream cheese on their faces?  It's the new thing, I hear.  

No caption necessary.

I must have had bad breath here.  ; )

Totally a flattering expression for me.  I should make it more often.  

Anyone want to enter their 2 year old against my 2 year old in a pull up contest?  Didn't think so.  You're intimidated by this picture ...

(seriously though, she seems to be surprisingly strong)

Rainy Day Play ...

The little somethin' somethin' we did for Mother's Day ...

And she asked ... "Why won't my arthritis go away?"

Tonight Taya told me something.  We were reading the scriptures about how Jesus healed a blind man.  She stopped part way through and said "Every night in my prayers I ask Heavenly Father to make my Arthritis go away, but it never does."   

--- Whoa....  I just about shriveled up & melted & at the same time had the desire to stand strong for her more than ever before.  What an important moment.  I put the scriptures down & bundled her up extra tight and looked at her, and told her I was proud of her for praying for that night after night because I knew that meant that she believes in Heavenly Father and believes that he'll help her.  And I told her how Jesus did heal this blind man, and He has healed others too.  And I told her how there are many people, tons of people, ... most people, who have 'hard things' - like Arthritis ... and that Jesus hasn't just taken away those hard things, but that He & Heavenly Father ARE helping those people - especially when those people ask for their help.  And I asked her if she remembered what Jesus' Atonement was.  And reminded her that Jesus has felt what she feels, that He had a time in the Garden of Gethsemane where He came to her  ... Taya.  And felt her physical pain.  And felt the times where she wondered why God hadn't taken away her Juvenile Arthritis pain.  And that it's nice knowing that He, (and a few other kids with JA that she has met too) - know what she is going through.  I asked her if it is hard that her dad, Dyllan & I don't have arthritis and don't know what she feels.  She briefly answered yes, while fidgeting around and going through a series of 20 different positions during the conversation (as a serious conversation with an almost 5 year old does not equate looking at each other's eyes and sitting still for 10 minutes - I wouldn't have it any other way).  Most of all I told her that she could keep asking Heavenly Father to take away her arthritis or just to help her be happy even when her arthritis bothers her, and that he may take it away soon - or later - or never, in this life (I've already told her how she won't have it in Heaven), but that he absolutely knows what's best for her and that we are here on this Earth to learn.  And that most of our learning comes through things that are hard.  I asked her to think about if she had been the one in charge of teaching Dyllan how to walk, and had had the magical power to snap her fingers & automatically make Dyllan walk - if she would do it, and if Dyllan really would have learned how to walk.  She seemed to kind of get my (rough, on the spot) analogy.  I told her I love her and I snuggled her and looked in her eyes.  And I told her that I wish I could take her JA away, but that I think she is going to teach people great things with it.  And that she is going to show people that she can be happy even when her body feels miserable (though her body's misery is not always visually obvious).  And that Heavenly Father may really need her to do that for other people.  

I don't know exactly how much she digested.  She can usually take away quite a bit from important conversations, so I wasn't afraid to give her a full answer.  I wanted to write this down because I know she may mull this question over in her mind again. She actually did tell me as I tucked her in, that she asked Heavenly Father for it again tonight in her prayer and that she wishes it would go away.  But I think, and believe, that she will internalize bits of this conversation over for years to come (we may have long & abridged versions of it again many times).  I remember a talk in church one day a couple of years ago where the woman speaking referred to praying daily for her kids to develop strong personal testimonies of their Heavenly Father & Jesus Christ.  I loved that and have often included it in my own prayers since then.  Taya & I actually happened to talk briefly about testimony a couple of times this weekend (including in this conversation) - and based on the way she answered some simple questions (with NO pressure/influence) on what she believes or doesn't believe from church - helped her to realize that she already has her very own testimony right now.  And that her testimony is what helps her want to ask Heavenly Father for help with her JA in the first place.  

I love this girl.  I fear sometimes that we have trigger points in our personalities with each other that give us a little more friction than I would like (I know, I'm the adult right?).  But I pray that all of the good times we have together each day confirm to her how much I love her and am there for her.  And that I would take her JA if I could.  I pray that those good times and expressions of love and snuggles, and silliness, and listening, and more - give her a rock in our relationship, while I figure out how to resolve and handle with good character those trigger points of ours.  

I am so glad she told me something like that tonight.  Because it gave me an extra chance to tell her so many important things.  Things that I pray she'll seek, and hold onto, and seek, ... and hold onto, again and again. 

Juvenile Arthritis....  there are easier things in life, and there are harder things too.... and we're always trying to find the balance in the way it's handled and talked about in our family - to help her think of it as a footnote in her life, instead of a definition of herself, and as something that she can be happy & fulfilled in spite of - all while trying to show enough plain, simple, oh-so-needed empathy.  Empathy without any extra clauses, without babying, or life lessons attached for that matter.  Just plain empathy.  What everyone needs sometimes. Hopefully I showed enough of it in this critical moment tonight.

.....

-Breanne

 (I wrote this as a record more for myself, and for Taya.  Don't feel you need to comment.)