Deep Thoughts,
by Jack Handey
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.
(Did you think you were in for another long methodical post? I thought I needed a breath of fresh air, well maybe not fresh, but at least funny air: these are some of my favorites from a regular 'Deep Thoughts' segment on Saturday Night Live in the '90s).
